Back in the Saddle Again

I had my first date in a long while. Since starting my new job, I've laid low--but, oh how I have missed it!  When an opportunity to meet w/ an old friend appeared, I had to seize it. Although busy, my life had been lacking a certain element of excitement, a taste of the taboo.

Now the element of work has nearly left the experience completely, all but the fact of monetary exchange. Even that felt more of a devotional nature.  There was more space of the spiritual to come down. I'd like to think the feeling was shared. It was just the inspiration I needed, a seed of courage to take the next step.

The next step being, to advertise my unique spin, as a sacred harlot. A courtesan of intelligence, wit and grace. Some newly edited pictures, to say the least. Those who just want a quick faceless fuck, who would haggle details, will be left behind without a thought. Maybe if I am bored...but unlikely. I do miss this work, but I am glad to not be living solely off it it. It gives me this extra freedom, to choose how to spend my time.

I work hard, dress casual, and get along with everyone at my new job. It's mostly men, which makes it easier. I have always been "one of the guys" in casual environments. I flirt with the occasional fantasy of discovery leading to steamy office sex, but greatly enjoy my separate circles.

Yes, I admit, I like the money. We may play any number of roles during our time, but the exchange makes it more real--it creates a sort of container of time and space that only exists between the two (or three...) A very real magic that I want to keep making.

A Change in Course

This time last Sunday, I was planing a week of hotel stays and networking with other providers, eager to do more, see more people. I had no idea that a simple phone call Monday morning would change all that.

Tuesday, I went on an interview and was given a job offer on the spot. More than that, I ended up training that day and asked to come back tomorrow. Not only is it in my area of expertise, but it's a significant pay raise from my previous straight job. 

It felt so odd, almost surreal, to suddenly have legal employment, that it took most of the week to sink in.

I know that I don't want to give this up entirely. I see this as an opportunity to re-make my image based on what I've learned, and allow myself to be more exclusive. Of course, my schedule will be much different now. I may create a new name, perhaps a new blog.  But never fear, I will keep updating, and post any new links as they are available.

High Rise, pt 2

"Maria..."

Richard, her boss. She was still a tumbled mess on the floor, gripping the glass. Before she could collect herself, he had let himself in, the door shutting causally behind him. His steel-grey hair matched his suit, shaking his head at this hot mess.

"You were doing it again." He grinned, his cock already growing.

"That is why you gave me the office, isn't it?" She sat down, shifting towards him, an after glow of pleasure still hanging over her, a cat-like smile on her face.

He locked the door, taking his time across the office, her office...but she was His. And it was his company, so...His office. It had started out as a game (the best and the worst of them always did!), but this one was different. She was smart, a wonderful asset to the company...and these games seems to inspire her best work. How could he not take that?

"You looked warmed up for me." A fist stuck in her hair, dragging her back up with a moan. She pressed herself against him, already undressing him. She wouldn't speak, only murmur against his skin, working her way up his chest and neck. He felt his belt whipped from his unzipped pants, the garment shoved down. The rest of their clothes were shed like a cocoon, freeing them from their mundane lives for a moment to fly.

His hands against her breast, he pressed her naked flesh against the glass once more. The glass felt cool against her mound, his fingers finding her wet snatch, eager. There was no time at all, he fit himself against her folds and pressed. Maria moaned delightfully, arching up against him while she looked out at the dizzying height. Her breath steamed up the glass. Soon, his hand was in her hair, holding her tight, working her hard and fast.

"I like my pussy all warmed up for me," he crooned darkly in her ear. He was close now, gripping her hips tight against him as he shoved her against the glass. They moaned together as he came, his cock pulsing hotly, her pussy gripping tight like a fist, milking him clean. Resting a moment against the glass, his breath joining hers to fog their favorite window.

Vacationing in the Mountains

Between all the traveling, re-meeting family I haven't met in ages, and dealing with the prerequisite drama, I hardly had time to go on the internet at all. For months, the internet has been my lifeblood and constant companion.  I had a new appreciation for it while I checked my email for the first time in this sleepy mountain town in new mexico.  I sipped coffee at one of the few cafes in the area that offered wi-fi there.

Riding by train is an adventure in itself. If you have the time to make it part of your trip, it's so much more relaxed than the bustle and restrained chaotic near-panic that is airport security. You end up meeting people along the way. I enjoyed creating variations on a story, while learning about other people. I saw a bear from the train. He had just come to a mountain-side watering hole, and was watching a small group of cows that had wandered far from the rest of their herd. I wonder if he dined on steak that eve....

I only have just begun to unwind out here, and actually feel like I'm on vacation. At the same time, I'm plotting my return to San Francisco and eager to meet with a few more wonderful men. I am reminded how much I love this city, how much I enjoy living my independent life just as I wish, largely without judgment. Funny, but the mask I wore at home felt so much more false than the mask I wear when entertaining. I am not sure when that happened, and would much rather embrace my brazen, sexy healer-whore self than live anything like the lives unfolding back home.

This trip has reminded me how much I love to travel. I hope to do it more often in the future. My show's premiere went quite successful, so I may have to opportunity to take it on the road. Until then, I will relax, and try not to get sunburned.

July Moving Quickly

4th of July holiday was relaxed enough. I feel like I celebrate my independence every date I'm on, so I didn't need to over do it then.  There was the obligatory barbeque, and much prop creation for the show.  Yes, "The Show" is coming up at the end of the month. Religion, Sex, Horror, a new fable for a new age. Friday, July 29th.  I would like to invite select clients I've seen before, but I am keeping wraps on the details for sake of discretion. If you are interested in hearing more details, please email me and I'll be happy to share.

I also had the chance to visit San Jose. It was last minute, a shame I wasn't able to advertise it more, but it was a great chance to work with a new doubles partner, Sophia Amelia,  and see some people who I wouldn't normally get to see. And it was so much warmer! It was luxurious to have it stay so warm at night, no fog, no layers.

I came back to the city and have been working on props and costuming this week. Several masks are now finished, costuming has been chosen, the majority of the props are done.  And yet, every time I finish a project, five more things seem to come up!

I am hoping to entertain some more wonderful gentlemen in the week to come. With working on props, comes extra pent-up energy and an urge to flee my apartment and let loose! If you pardon my neat but unmanicured nails, I'm sure there's a great many things we could do.

A not-so-secret love

There are days I am afraid to proclaim it, but not today.

It's not a fear of doing what I do, but the fear of being damned by society for enjoying it.  A fear of being thrust into a victim's role--because "it's not her fault, she must have been hurt by someone long ago to drive her to this."

I'm not damaged anymore than anyone else. I'm not desperate. I am just different and I love that.

And yes, I love whoring around.

I love dressing up and having an excuse to buy make-up I only wear three times a week. I love taking the extra step to look feminine. It is not so much a costume as a prism, displaying beautiful colors found within ordinary light. 

I love reading introductions people write, the coming to know a stranger. I have met people whose names fill in on a google search, and others whom I know nothing about except their most intimate turn-ons and fantasies.

I love being someone's indulgence, someone's small luxury. There are so many reasons why someone comes to see me, and I love finding that out.  I love the sated look on a person's face knowing *I* put it there.

I have found there is healing in sex, even the most animal, dirty, kinky or the unceremonial rushed coupling. I have ever been drawn to the sacred roots of this oldest profession, and I love the challenge of bringing back that sacred nature. To dare others to view it differently. I love uncovering that healing in the taboo.

I love when I can tell I am truly appreciated in my role. When any initial fear, doubt or even guilt is allowed to melt away. When pleasure is given, taken, exchanged and then allowed to rest. I love when men do not pity me, when they recognize my enjoyment. I love when there is no attempt to haggle the donation because they understand the value of the service offered.

I love discovering how someone touches, kisses, fucks. I love the newness of each first time, the rediscovery of the second time. I love creating new ideas and games to make each visit different and unique. I truly love trying new things, and trying new people.

And despite the fear I sometimes have, I love that I enjoy it all so much. I love loving it.

High Rise

She had a love of heights, and when her office was moved up to the 17th floor, Marie was delighted to see the large windows behind her desk. No, larger than windows, they were practically walls made of glass.  She enjoyed leaning her forehead against it, the vast space below. Cars and people reduced to bugs hurrying on the ground. Even the nearby buildings seemed dwarfed by this view. It was a thrill to lean against the glass so high, a thrill that ran down her spine to throb between her legs. Marie couldn't explain it, but it excited her to no end.

A quiet, hard worker, no one noticed Marie's lunch breaks taken in her office, or if she stayed late.  Her door closed, her back to the rest of the office, she would sit back, take in her high rise vantage point and squirm hotly.  Pantyhose pulled down and skirt hiked up, Marie watched the people far below. They couldn't see her spread her legs, fingers rolling against a swelling clit. She pretended they could--that a commuter would look up, that her self- pleasure was so powerful she would cause a traffic jam.

It was the idea of being seen, more than the reality, that made her so hot. Her pussy lips already moist, fingers sliding in to match the motion of her thumb. Two handed, she would play with herself. one hand rubbing inside that secret spot, making slick wet sounds as her other rubbed circles around her swollen button, pleasure and pressure building, causing her to gasp unexpectedly with the surge of warmth running through her.

More!  She had to get more!  In what was nearly a leap, she left her chair to lean against the window, hands still stuffed under her skirt.  Against the window, she pressed herself, bracing one leg up on a table for better access. That thrill of heights pushed her to the next level, fingers moving non-stop as she felt the heat build like an electric charge. She imagined all eyes on her, transfixed as she bucked urgently against the glass, wet digits sliding deeper. Her muscles tensing deliciously as the promise of release came closer, closer....clit throbbing then surging as the built-up charge released through her body, through ever cell as it rushed up her spine and spilled out through her lips in a cry of pleasure.

The force of her orgasm so great, Marie's knees went weak and she slid down the glass wall, a streak of wetness left behind as she relished in the glowing, tingling sensation slowly waning from her limbs.


That was when she heard the knock at her office door.....

Creating a Temple of Passion

This is really only the beginning.

I have been both eager and tentative about settling down any roots for this work. But now I have my hands on an opportunity to share a space and establish it's look and feel--a temple of passion.  Dedicated, not to any one God or Goddess in particular, but dedicated to the women who work in the space and the men who seek to release...their stress and worries, who I hope will find much satisfaction here.

I seek to be careful too, and I delayed any announcement at first. Who knows if everyone involved will really mix until you've tried it? And I feel a lot of potential in the space.

It may require a "temple raising" party......

Current Reading List

I try to only read one book at a time, but this rarely happens. More often than not, I will start several and find one that demands my attention above all others.  Here's what's on my nightstand currently:

Becoming Animal: An Earthly Cosmology, by David Abrams.  His first book, Spell of the Sensuous, touched my spirit. This one too, is carefully written. You can sense how he may have meditated over parts, to choose exactly the right words.  He writes of the innate beauty in the world, the language of the Earth and it's patterns of weather, seasons, day and night. He connects the spiritual with the material. I am still in the beginning of this work, but I expect to be touched just as deeply by his observations.

Diary of a Drug Fiend, by Aleister Crowley.  This is the second time I have started this book. I try, oh do I try! His magical texts, oddly enough, are easier for me to read. This is his first novel, and the narrative is so dense...thick. Not in a dumb way, quite the opposite. I know if I can get a few chapters into it, I will get drawn into the story.

Naamah's Curse, by Jacqueline Carey.  I was trying to read Crowley's story when this wonderful new paperback arrived by mail. I had ordered it months ago and forgotten about it. This is the fiction fix I was looking for!  It has everything I could want: a strong female who holds her own, magic, sex, whore-goddesses and Pagan faiths, adventure, quests and a huge world full of detail. 

Sex, Drugs & Magic, by Robert Anton Wilson.  I would have stopped at three, but a friend recently gave me this book and it would be impossible to wait to read it.  I very nearly missed my stop on BART while reading this!  This book requires a pencil so I can underline passages--I didn't even get through the introduction without pulling one out.

April Showers

What's that saying about April? April showers bring May flowers?


There is a slowness in this time just before taxes, and as such, my mind turned away from this in search of something to occupy it, to keep from worrying how long it would last...I'd prefer to write about happy, positive things.

I read a lot of Crowley and sex magic and I feel that it misses some element that I desire. It feels written by men, for men and though he praises Babalon, I can't help but think he wouldn't know the Goddess if she pinned him down and had her way with him!

I read about sacred intimacy and tantra and sex therapy and feel something missing too. I love the feminine, receptive quality and emphasis on the healing that can take place. They acknowledge that a genuine connection between two people is healing in itself.  There is also a serious sense to all this, and I miss a sense of playfulness and the power of taboo.

But truly, in my best sessions, these elements are barely in the background, if present at all. There is respect, a mutual trust, connection, playfulness, and the edge of doing potentially naughty things. It is doing one's will. And somehow, these delightful, tingling, naughty play times are healing--to myself and I hope also to those who see me. It's my desire to create an experience that is whatever they are seeking. It can be healing, wholesome, naughty, indulgent or something in between.

Love is the Law

I am still trying to figure out Crowley. Much of it is too ceremonial for my tastes. I prefer something more wild, intuitively done. And yet, I recognize the value in work that has been done. The texts I've been reading are gold mines of magical clues and inspiration.

Here is one particular passage that I've been reflecting on recently, from The Book of the Law:

61. But to love me is better than all things: if under the night stars in the desert thou presently burnest mine incense before me, invoking me with a pure heart, and the Serpent flame therein, thou shalt come a little to lie in my bosom. For one kiss wilt thou then be willing to give all; but whoso gives one particle of dust shall lose all in that hour. Ye shall gather goods and store of women and spices; ye shall wear rich jewels; ye shall exceed the nations of the earth in spendour & pride; but always in the love of me, and so shall ye come to my joy. I charge you earnestly to come before me in a single robe, and covered with a rich headdress. I love you! I yearn to you! Pale or purple, veiled or voluptuous, I who am all pleasure and purple, and drunkenness of the innermost sense, desire you. Put on the wings, and arouse the coiled splendour within you: come unto me!
62. At all my meetings with you shall the priestess say—and her eyes shall burn with desire as she stands bare and rejoicing in my secret temple—To me! To me! calling forth the flame of the hearts of all in her love-chant.
63. Sing the rapturous love-song unto me! Burn to me perfumes! Wear to me jewels! Drink to me, for I love you! I love you!
64. I am the blue-lidded daughter of Sunset; I am the naked brilliance of the voluptuous night-sky.

A Desire for Newness

It's funny, as I reach out to new experiences in sacred intimacy, in designing a new blog site and brainstorming a new business plan, I find a desire for newness: for a new name, new site, new ads & marketing. A new openness too--finding other communities besides RedBook.

I'm outgrowing this Electra Blue name--and after finding a spam mail sent through my e-mail, I am ready to ditch it in favor of a new address.

I don't know how much longer I will have this site, but you can be sure I will send links to the new blog when it begins to look presentable (Ugh, I know, I'm a perfectionist!)

Redbook hasn't been the best for business lately anyway. My service is taking on a greater depth that doesn't seem to be experienced much in RB.  I want to share in this sacred sexual healing modality, but I don't see a demand for in it RB.  Looking for greener pastures now...

What's Going On?

It's been too long since I updated! Much has been going on in my world, but my harlot's temple has been fairly quiet. I blame tax season. So just what have I been up to?

Well, I went to my first Gnostic Mass.  Technically, my first Mass *ever.* There was a good group of people, a naked woman on the altar and a lot of ceremonial lines and costumes that I honestly thought was a little silly--but to each their own! To take communion with others in a way that supports my beliefs, that was worthwhile.  "There is no part of me that is not of the Gods!"

I met up with Fantasy Makers and got to chat with some people about joining their house.  While I've identified as submissive for several years, my work is empowering and making me very curious about exploring the Domme side of things.  I've had to turn down several request to dominant others because I felt I had a lack of training--so how about getting some training already?

On the art side of things, I've joined up with a small group putting together a show and was asked to play the role of High Priestess/Babalon.  This is both exciting and scary to me! The idea of having lines to reads scares me more than the public naked body painting that will be part of the show.  I'm also getting a chance to put some art on display, so I've been brainstorming, sketching and collecting materials.  The show will go on in July and I may invite a few people who are interested in seeing it.

A Quick Note

Today, my email password must have been compromised, for I noticed someone sent a spam link through it!  I had to change my password, so hopefully the problem is now fixed.  Apologies to anyone who received one! This seemed the best way to reach my audience.

And Dark Curses on the fool who chose to hack my account. Warts, boils and plagues be upon you!!

Creating Sacredness

When I started on this path, I was drawn to the idea that it could be done  in a sacred way--that, in ancient times, sex *was* a sacred thing.  I loved the idea, but I wasn't sure how it would take form for me in the modern day.

Experience is the best teacher, so I went out and got some experience. Even the few shitty experiences I've had taught me invaluable lessons Some weeks, I have felt more sacred than others--when I take the time out to focus my intentions, it's so much better than the few times I've felt rushed, or just in that headspace.

I knew I needed to give myself time to learn, to test things. I needed to find out what worked best for me, and how to bring sacredness to my work without sounding or feeling like a airy new-age type. I needed to balance the sacred work with the fun of "being bad," and find a way to make them work together.

Babalon has given me this key.  And now, finally, I feel ready to take this big step and truly devote my work to her--to make it Work. It gives me the courage to focus on sacred sexuality.

Expect big changes on this front! I'm taking steps to create my own website (bye bye Blogger) and re-do my marketing on this angle. 

I'll always be that fun-loving, taboo-indulging girl.  But now, I also want to pull out that healing, sacred spirit that banishes doubt and guilt.

Staying in the Red

At the start of the new year, I dyed my hair red. I've gone almost two months now and already the dreaded roots are showing.  I've never noticed now dark my hair is, or appreciated just how fast my hair grows.

Does sucking cock for a dye job make me a whore?

Sex Workers & Cheating

On one of my online discussion groups for poly people, they have been talking about infidelity in the poly community.  If there is to be some openness, how much, and are you responsible for  knowing what your partner does? What makes one a "cheater?"

To be honest, my opinions on conventional marriage are...less than conventional. I didn't care to comment on what I thought cheating was...until someone posted this question:

What about sex workers? If a guy sees an escort behind his wife's back, does that make the escort a cheater?

As you can imagine, I had something to say about this. My response follows (edited slightly for my blog.)

How is it that a sex worker is supposed to know if their client is cheating or not?

In my experience, the client wants to keep some distance.  Many will give a fake name. I rarely need to know their full real name, the details of where they work, or their relationship status. Some are married and keep their rings on. Some tell me about their wives.  Some will hide their ring in their car and I never know if they are married or not

In my opinion, they are paying for an experience that's outside their normal life. They pay for discretion. They pay for a little relief from whatever stress they have.  Sometimes, they pay me to listen. They pay me to take them as they are, not to pry or judge them.

I view the provider/client relationship similarly to a therapist/client or even priest/confessor relationship. I'm not necessarily paid to, but I am empathetic to their situations. Some of them have broken relationships they have tried to fix, and visiting a pro is their best solution.  Better to get the sexual relief in that way, then to start courting other women and forge a new relationship where they might get emotionally involved, causing even more trouble (albeit, their own fault!)

It's not a perfect system, but we do not live in a perfect world.

Fallng in Love

I'm in love with this new woman. She's a Goddess, quite literally.

Babalon is not the chaste virgin huntress or heavily skirted mothering goddess, nor the sexless earth goddess that mainstream Paganism seems to cling to (no offense of course. I love earth goddesses too!)  I can't blame them--they want acceptance in a vaguely Christian society and so had to become a coven of Glinda in a pink tutu.

This week I've been reading The Red Goddess. It's a devotional book of the sex goddess, Babalon. She's a Goddess of Whores, the modern holy harlot as envisioned by Alister Crowley.  Crowley has a bad-boy reputation and is kinda misogynistic at times, but he's on to something with Babalon.

I've been working with her since discovering her, just over a month ago. The more I work with her, the more I've been able to invoke her presence mentally.  And to be honest, I think it's working.  The last few sessions I've had were extra steamy and my energy wouldn't stop until I was back home and grounded.

Let the sex(y) magick begin!

Awesome Sex Toy Siting

A friend of mine linked this to me. I'm not a big toy collector, as I tend to find so much to enjoy in my partners--they become my toys!  But I have seen a few of these vibrators that hook up to your ipod and will vibrate with a musical beat. (I just had to add it to my wishlist!)

This one is a mini bullet vibe that will pick up the ambient sounds in a room and vibrate.  It will take those groovy dancing beats and send them all the way up into your core!  Wow, now there's a reason to dance.  Next time you are in a club, you can imagine the lovely ladies wearing one of these. They must be driving themselves wild!

Keep feelin' them good vibrations....


Also, in blog news, I put up a donate button for those who feel generous. The more attention this blog receives, the more reasons I have to keep writing. I am also looking into some sort of subscription option that would give subscribers access to special photo spreads each month or perhaps some personalized writings.  Any suggestions?

Unexpected Sabbatical

I'm sure my life isn't any more chaotic than the average person, but sometimes I wonder.  A couple of weeks ago, a few days down with the flu turned into an unexpected sabbatical from writing, working or doing anything productive. 

Well, I did do a lot of reading, personal journaling and self-exploration. From the outside, all this inside/mental work didn't look like much, but I am realizing now (after my birthday) that it was quite necessary.

I finished up Starhawk's Truth or Dare, skipping over several parts about community & group working simply because it didn't really apply to me right now.  It's one of those books I know I will read several times, it's practically a textbook.  I also got my hands on an astrology text, Planets in Transit, and have had a good time looking up my transits for the day, studying the interactions of the planets. 

My brain craves fiction now, and I've started Henry Miller's Under the Roofs of Paris. If you haven't read it, let me tell you, this is a bawdy book. I thought I had a dirty mind? No, but I'm looking forward to reading more fiction and studying the minds of dirty old men like Miller.

Perhaps...I hope, I pray, if I fill my mind with more stories, they will recombine in new ways and spill forth from head to hand to pen.  I do know I am in a better state of mind & being.

Sacred Whore vs Sacred Intimate

I have been reading up on the subject lately.  I'm observing a tendency of political correctness, or perhaps just an emphasis on the healing, spiritual and academic side of it. In more "serious work" about the topic of sacred harlotry (aka-not my blog), they call it sacred intimacy, erotic shamanism (my favorite of the group), erotic bodywork...they skirt around that sex may go on and money is exchanged. The healing, the touch is the important part.

But there's something I relish in the term sacred whore! Precisely because our culture (and many people) would say those two things don't go together.  It's the reason why I prefer the term witch instead of pagan.  They embrace the bad girl and embrace the healing of shadow work.

From a legal viewpoint, also, I see why they choose these phrases. I see why they choose to bring light into a shadowy world.  I have always sought balance, and want to acknowledge the shadows while bringing in the light.

A New Year Comes Blazing Through

New Year Eve was spent with a green, muddy junk worked into my hair. No parties for me this year, just a private celebration with champagne. After six hours, I wash it out. The henna color takes two days to settle, so I lay low, reading and researching.

And since then, it's just been one thing after another. In a good way, but when I looked, I saw I haven't written in my blog in too many days. This girl needs a spanking for that, but then I *still* wouldn't be writing!

The blog and my experience with escorting has very nearly reached the one year mark and I'm diving in just as deep for my second year.  I want to take what I've witnessed and learned and build my business even better.  This means I simply must write more, even if just to jot down some interesting bit that happened during the week.  I've also considered adding a twitter account, but I don't know if that will help me keep the blog more or less active.

My birthday is on the 29th, and my goal is to make these improvements by then. I may put together a small birthday wishlist on Amazon, but I think I will keep it low key. This birthday will be about self-improvement.

There's more to write about, but you readers deserve more posts, really.  So, I'll keep writing, and post a little every other day (or there will be spankings!)