There are days I am afraid to proclaim it, but not today.
It's not a fear of doing what I do, but the fear of being damned by society for enjoying it. A fear of being thrust into a victim's role--because "it's not her fault, she must have been hurt by someone long ago to drive her to this."
I'm not damaged anymore than anyone else. I'm not desperate. I am just different and I love that.
And yes, I love whoring around.
I love dressing up and having an excuse to buy make-up I only wear three times a week. I love taking the extra step to look feminine. It is not so much a costume as a prism, displaying beautiful colors found within ordinary light.
I love reading introductions people write, the coming to know a stranger. I have met people whose names fill in on a google search, and others whom I know nothing about except their most intimate turn-ons and fantasies.
I love being someone's indulgence, someone's small luxury. There are so many reasons why someone comes to see me, and I love finding that out. I love the sated look on a person's face knowing *I* put it there.
I have found there is healing in sex, even the most animal, dirty, kinky or the unceremonial rushed coupling. I have ever been drawn to the sacred roots of this oldest profession, and I love the challenge of bringing back that sacred nature. To dare others to view it differently. I love uncovering that healing in the taboo.
I love when I can tell I am truly appreciated in my role. When any initial fear, doubt or even guilt is allowed to melt away. When pleasure is given, taken, exchanged and then allowed to rest. I love when men do not pity me, when they recognize my enjoyment. I love when there is no attempt to haggle the donation because they understand the value of the service offered.
I love discovering how someone touches, kisses, fucks. I love the newness of each first time, the rediscovery of the second time. I love creating new ideas and games to make each visit different and unique. I truly love trying new things, and trying new people.
And despite the fear I sometimes have, I love that I enjoy it all so much. I love loving it.
Hi Electra. I've been following you for a while since you showed up on DHD. I love watching you, and reading your blogs makes me fantasize about you even more. You seem so wonderful, intelligent and sexy. My wife has had several lesbian encounters & I think would be attracted to you. I fantasize about it. I just happened on a Google search and found your blog.
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