There are days I am afraid to proclaim it, but not today.
It's not a fear of doing what I do, but the fear of being damned by society for enjoying it. A fear of being thrust into a victim's role--because "it's not her fault, she must have been hurt by someone long ago to drive her to this."
I'm not damaged anymore than anyone else. I'm not desperate. I am just different and I love that.
And yes, I love whoring around.
I love dressing up and having an excuse to buy make-up I only wear three times a week. I love taking the extra step to look feminine. It is not so much a costume as a prism, displaying beautiful colors found within ordinary light.
I love reading introductions people write, the coming to know a stranger. I have met people whose names fill in on a google search, and others whom I know nothing about except their most intimate turn-ons and fantasies.
I love being someone's indulgence, someone's small luxury. There are so many reasons why someone comes to see me, and I love finding that out. I love the sated look on a person's face knowing *I* put it there.
I have found there is healing in sex, even the most animal, dirty, kinky or the unceremonial rushed coupling. I have ever been drawn to the sacred roots of this oldest profession, and I love the challenge of bringing back that sacred nature. To dare others to view it differently. I love uncovering that healing in the taboo.
I love when I can tell I am truly appreciated in my role. When any initial fear, doubt or even guilt is allowed to melt away. When pleasure is given, taken, exchanged and then allowed to rest. I love when men do not pity me, when they recognize my enjoyment. I love when there is no attempt to haggle the donation because they understand the value of the service offered.
I love discovering how someone touches, kisses, fucks. I love the newness of each first time, the rediscovery of the second time. I love creating new ideas and games to make each visit different and unique. I truly love trying new things, and trying new people.
And despite the fear I sometimes have, I love that I enjoy it all so much. I love loving it.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
High Rise
She had a love of heights, and when her office was moved up to the 17th floor, Marie was delighted to see the large windows behind her desk. No, larger than windows, they were practically walls made of glass. She enjoyed leaning her forehead against it, the vast space below. Cars and people reduced to bugs hurrying on the ground. Even the nearby buildings seemed dwarfed by this view. It was a thrill to lean against the glass so high, a thrill that ran down her spine to throb between her legs. Marie couldn't explain it, but it excited her to no end.
A quiet, hard worker, no one noticed Marie's lunch breaks taken in her office, or if she stayed late. Her door closed, her back to the rest of the office, she would sit back, take in her high rise vantage point and squirm hotly. Pantyhose pulled down and skirt hiked up, Marie watched the people far below. They couldn't see her spread her legs, fingers rolling against a swelling clit. She pretended they could--that a commuter would look up, that her self- pleasure was so powerful she would cause a traffic jam.
It was the idea of being seen, more than the reality, that made her so hot. Her pussy lips already moist, fingers sliding in to match the motion of her thumb. Two handed, she would play with herself. one hand rubbing inside that secret spot, making slick wet sounds as her other rubbed circles around her swollen button, pleasure and pressure building, causing her to gasp unexpectedly with the surge of warmth running through her.
More! She had to get more! In what was nearly a leap, she left her chair to lean against the window, hands still stuffed under her skirt. Against the window, she pressed herself, bracing one leg up on a table for better access. That thrill of heights pushed her to the next level, fingers moving non-stop as she felt the heat build like an electric charge. She imagined all eyes on her, transfixed as she bucked urgently against the glass, wet digits sliding deeper. Her muscles tensing deliciously as the promise of release came closer, closer....clit throbbing then surging as the built-up charge released through her body, through ever cell as it rushed up her spine and spilled out through her lips in a cry of pleasure.
The force of her orgasm so great, Marie's knees went weak and she slid down the glass wall, a streak of wetness left behind as she relished in the glowing, tingling sensation slowly waning from her limbs.
That was when she heard the knock at her office door.....
A quiet, hard worker, no one noticed Marie's lunch breaks taken in her office, or if she stayed late. Her door closed, her back to the rest of the office, she would sit back, take in her high rise vantage point and squirm hotly. Pantyhose pulled down and skirt hiked up, Marie watched the people far below. They couldn't see her spread her legs, fingers rolling against a swelling clit. She pretended they could--that a commuter would look up, that her self- pleasure was so powerful she would cause a traffic jam.
It was the idea of being seen, more than the reality, that made her so hot. Her pussy lips already moist, fingers sliding in to match the motion of her thumb. Two handed, she would play with herself. one hand rubbing inside that secret spot, making slick wet sounds as her other rubbed circles around her swollen button, pleasure and pressure building, causing her to gasp unexpectedly with the surge of warmth running through her.
More! She had to get more! In what was nearly a leap, she left her chair to lean against the window, hands still stuffed under her skirt. Against the window, she pressed herself, bracing one leg up on a table for better access. That thrill of heights pushed her to the next level, fingers moving non-stop as she felt the heat build like an electric charge. She imagined all eyes on her, transfixed as she bucked urgently against the glass, wet digits sliding deeper. Her muscles tensing deliciously as the promise of release came closer, closer....clit throbbing then surging as the built-up charge released through her body, through ever cell as it rushed up her spine and spilled out through her lips in a cry of pleasure.
The force of her orgasm so great, Marie's knees went weak and she slid down the glass wall, a streak of wetness left behind as she relished in the glowing, tingling sensation slowly waning from her limbs.
That was when she heard the knock at her office door.....
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