April Showers

What's that saying about April? April showers bring May flowers?


There is a slowness in this time just before taxes, and as such, my mind turned away from this in search of something to occupy it, to keep from worrying how long it would last...I'd prefer to write about happy, positive things.

I read a lot of Crowley and sex magic and I feel that it misses some element that I desire. It feels written by men, for men and though he praises Babalon, I can't help but think he wouldn't know the Goddess if she pinned him down and had her way with him!

I read about sacred intimacy and tantra and sex therapy and feel something missing too. I love the feminine, receptive quality and emphasis on the healing that can take place. They acknowledge that a genuine connection between two people is healing in itself.  There is also a serious sense to all this, and I miss a sense of playfulness and the power of taboo.

But truly, in my best sessions, these elements are barely in the background, if present at all. There is respect, a mutual trust, connection, playfulness, and the edge of doing potentially naughty things. It is doing one's will. And somehow, these delightful, tingling, naughty play times are healing--to myself and I hope also to those who see me. It's my desire to create an experience that is whatever they are seeking. It can be healing, wholesome, naughty, indulgent or something in between.

Love is the Law

I am still trying to figure out Crowley. Much of it is too ceremonial for my tastes. I prefer something more wild, intuitively done. And yet, I recognize the value in work that has been done. The texts I've been reading are gold mines of magical clues and inspiration.

Here is one particular passage that I've been reflecting on recently, from The Book of the Law:

61. But to love me is better than all things: if under the night stars in the desert thou presently burnest mine incense before me, invoking me with a pure heart, and the Serpent flame therein, thou shalt come a little to lie in my bosom. For one kiss wilt thou then be willing to give all; but whoso gives one particle of dust shall lose all in that hour. Ye shall gather goods and store of women and spices; ye shall wear rich jewels; ye shall exceed the nations of the earth in spendour & pride; but always in the love of me, and so shall ye come to my joy. I charge you earnestly to come before me in a single robe, and covered with a rich headdress. I love you! I yearn to you! Pale or purple, veiled or voluptuous, I who am all pleasure and purple, and drunkenness of the innermost sense, desire you. Put on the wings, and arouse the coiled splendour within you: come unto me!
62. At all my meetings with you shall the priestess say—and her eyes shall burn with desire as she stands bare and rejoicing in my secret temple—To me! To me! calling forth the flame of the hearts of all in her love-chant.
63. Sing the rapturous love-song unto me! Burn to me perfumes! Wear to me jewels! Drink to me, for I love you! I love you!
64. I am the blue-lidded daughter of Sunset; I am the naked brilliance of the voluptuous night-sky.

Fallng in Love

I'm in love with this new woman. She's a Goddess, quite literally.

Babalon is not the chaste virgin huntress or heavily skirted mothering goddess, nor the sexless earth goddess that mainstream Paganism seems to cling to (no offense of course. I love earth goddesses too!)  I can't blame them--they want acceptance in a vaguely Christian society and so had to become a coven of Glinda in a pink tutu.

This week I've been reading The Red Goddess. It's a devotional book of the sex goddess, Babalon. She's a Goddess of Whores, the modern holy harlot as envisioned by Alister Crowley.  Crowley has a bad-boy reputation and is kinda misogynistic at times, but he's on to something with Babalon.

I've been working with her since discovering her, just over a month ago. The more I work with her, the more I've been able to invoke her presence mentally.  And to be honest, I think it's working.  The last few sessions I've had were extra steamy and my energy wouldn't stop until I was back home and grounded.

Let the sex(y) magick begin!