This article is about a BBC study done, interviewing 12 men about their habits and feelings behind the hobby. I found it an interesting but narrow article, as there aren't enough men interviewed for a true average sampling. What I didn't like was the highly misogynist tone taken, with one passage that stood out to me in particular.
From the article:
Others were clear that they paid for sex in order to be able to totally control the encounter, including Bob, who said, "Look, men pay for women because he can have whatever and whoever he wants. Lots of men go to prostitutes so they can do things to them that real women would not put up with."
Link to full article: http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/jan/15/why-men-use-prostitutes
So, according to Bob, escorts are not real women? Just what makes a woman "real" then? It sounds like only women who are restrictive and not sexually curious qualify. Perhaps it's different in the UK, but we all have our restrictions.
I, for one, have felt my femininity celebrated since starting down this path, and I hope I'm not the only one. I wouldn't do anything that I felt was truly degrading or dehumanizing--but this has more to do with the manner than the action. I have been flogged, tormented, and felt honored to give my submission. When eyes gaze and hands begin to roam, I am honored in my womanhood.
Yes, there have been instances when I felt reduced and degraded, and these men did not get past a phone call. I've got nothing against good kinky fun, and even a little objectification is okay when the sex object is appreciated for what it gives, but those who can't respect their fellow humans and see them as "less" in some way....I just can't get down with that.
It's such a touchy... err, tricky... ahm subject I can't imagine there being a general 'rule' for why men use prostitutes... And, is that the right statement? Is it men "using"? In more ways than one, I would imagine a more accurate statement would be that men are 'giving' to prostitutes. Time, money, mental or psychological emotion, etc...
ReplyDeleteI remember reading that article when it first came out. I've been (insert adjective) unsatisfied in my sexual relationship in one way or another for a long time, so I definitely clicked on it then because of the subject. I remember the tone sort of sticking out...
There are choices to make when someone needs more than life is providing in the sex department, everybody has them:
1. work on it with your partner
2. leave your partner
3. flirt with another and begin an affair
4. fantisize about another
5. masturbate
6. hire professional therapist
7. hire professional sexual partner
I'm sure there are other options as well, all different for everyone and custom fit for their unique lives and relationships.
And of course, how one goes about approaching each of those will effect the outcome and need for a different solution.
So how can there be an 'answer'?
"Here's why men do it!"
It's so objectifying... i'nit? How about "it feels good" or "it's the height of pleasure", "never came so hard"...
Caleb
That's a good point you bring up--while the writers are trying to find the dark psychological roots behind these actions, they reveal their own prejudice in their choice of words. Not to mention assuming these reasons traced to something bad! They end up just reinforcing their own ideas.
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