I haven't written in a while, and it has been quite the week (and not yet over!) After having so many incall requests, I finally decided to get myself one. After these experiences the past few days, I greatly prefer outcalls. And I'm really sorry to say, after all those requests, no one has given me any reason to continue doing outcalls. Of course, every cloud has a silver lining and all that jazz...
The Good
If I'm going to say it, I'll say it proudly: I enjoy having sex with strangers. One of my favorite thing about this is meeting new people and fucking them. In sex, we become vulnerable to each other, our masks fall away and we come undone. If each allows for it to happen, the ego drifts away and the present moment expands until the whole universe is felt in their joining. In those moments, you can truly know a person. I think the secret is that both (or all, if you are into groups) parties need to be present, need to open themselves for the most impact. If one person holds back, clings to the mask in an effort to shield themselves, they cannot be open to the healing human touch being offered.
The Bad
I've had two incall days, and nothing but calls for future dates. Why must you tease so? Before I offered incall, a good chunk of my calls were asking for incalls. I know the pictures must be distracting, but the ad does have a lot of important information, gentlemen.... So, when I got a bit of money, I decided to give the incall a try. Maybe it's Murphy's Law, but the second I advertised it, I stopped getting calls for it!
Perhaps it is that these callers are simply not serious. They like to play at the fantasy, but whatever their reasons, they don't intend to follow through. I don't judge them, so long as they have some respect for me and my time. When they do waste my time and my money, they stop being just bad...
The Ugly
I have had some time to chill out since then, so I will try to retain a polite tone. A guy called (I certainly can't call him gentleman) asking for a short date, seemed nice enough. When one reference didn't answer right away, he gave me another which came back okay. When he gets here, he pulls the apologetic, check-hasn't-gone-through-yet BS and asks to come back later. Sure, if it goes through at midnight, why not? I need the money. I didn't expect him to come back, but I offered. He calls back 40 minutes later, after he gets home to ask about half hour rates and yell at me when I won't haggle.
Oh, no. You do not just waste my time and my money, treat me like garbage. First of all, you called me back to yell at me--so don't tell me to leave you alone. Because I surely will and if I had my say, every girl in the bay area would too!
I think it's incredibly disrespectful to ask for half hour appointments when my ad does not offer them. I even say in my ad: I am built for endurance, not speed. I wasn't lying, or trying to be clever. It takes time to know each other for the first time. A half hour means you only interested in getting your rocks off. And to try and lowball me? No, dear. I'm not your cheap floozy. Karma comes around, and I'll leave it to the Goddess to sort this one out.
Thank you. This concludes our rant for this evening. Tune in next time for more cheerful news.
I'm lovin' your blog, GRRRL!!! :D
ReplyDeletexoxo "Summerrayne"
Thanks dear. You make me want to write more!
ReplyDeleteseems like there would be a tendancy for the newbie to ask for and prefer an incall location. i might be wrong but if someone could do a completely unscientific survey, i think we'd find that to be true.
ReplyDeletebefore a newbie's first face to face (so to speak) i think that there's a certain order of operations, not unlike the preparation of a song or painting.
one goes to museums and gazes
watches PBS specials on masters and their methods
obtains a set of high quality sketching pencils
goes to the Art Store for the first time, browses
enrolls in a class... etc
and up to that point still hasn't painted
in a piece of music, the listener is often taken from
one established structure to a similar structure
back and forth,
with a small (but powerful) variation that only becomes
tonaly important when the bridge comes
for example:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86Cji6uDTQc
from 00:00 to 01:29 its the establishment and reinforcement
JB expicitly guides the listener from 01:30 to 02:00
as the 'bridge' is introduced.
at 02:04, that is the climax, the musical equivalent of
the newbie knocking on the door for the first time.
this is in reference to the "playing at the fantasy"
i would think that in the path toward getting to
the first meeting and introducing one's thick coc---
it would seem to me that there would be "first emails"
"first calls" and it might be years of curiosity and
interest (hopefully not contacting every advertisement
along the way) before the stars line up to make the f2f
nobody thinks for the first time in their life "i think i
want to open the weekly, call an ad and fuck a stranger"
it's a process, like wine reduction
i think that most first time clients
are calling and playing at the fantasy first.
either their circumstances or the welcoming aura of the
provider are the two factors that influence the f2f to occur.
if it's the caller's circumstances, then it might be years
or months later and after learning from all that
"do you offer incalls?" fantasy phone nervous laughter stuff
then the one that's chosen might never have heard
from the newbie before?!
it would seem to me, and i truly am only hypothesizing
here with no knowledge of the factors that actually
come into play, it would seem to me that if a provider
could recognize and identify that 'newb' and speak to them
differently than the others...
offer a newbie special, not just a first time customer
but a "i will introduce you to what we do" kind of thing.
no pressure, no sex.
this is what is so wonderful about your 'getting to know
you' dinner date offer, EB. Everybody eats! and you establish
a value for time, in a public place where you can make
a real determination about whether you want them to
continue to contact you. For the newb it allows the subtle
transition from fantasy to scheduling and dropping cash.
by eliminating the messy, vulnerable variables from the
equation it can actually happen instead of dozens of
calls asking about this&that that aren't going to end up
turning into anything but a gnawing waste of phone time.
i doubt it's a matter of dollars primarily, but more the
methodical act of taking another step closer.
the provider that gets the newbie just prices the intro
appropriately so that no one feels like it's an unfair exchange.
it's also pretty awesome that you offer that payment
as a sort of layaway to a full session. that keeps the
newb from taking the first step with you and then
contacting someone else right after to take the next step.
that's a pretty classic and solid business move
come to the seminar for $X and then when you are walked
through the service offering, the amount you paid for
the seminar is applied as a discount to your first order.
smart!
so, i don't know anything about the nuance of that deal
but why don't more providers do it?
-caleb
Wow, a lot of thought put into this. Love it!
ReplyDeleteI can certainly empathize with those new to the hobby. From a provider point-of-view, there were many steps I took in preparation to opening my business. TONS of research. I even considered hiring a provider just to talk to her for an hour, but I wasn't sure if she'd be interested in sharing tricks of the trade. In the end, however, that last step almost always feels like coming up to the edge of a cliff. There comes a point where one must leap and trust oneself, the world, and faith.
And as artist myself, I can tell you that no matter how many classes or paintings you've viewed, a blank canvas can be terribly imposing!
Every provider comes at this from a different perspective. Myself, I've been fascinated by the sacred roots of prostitution since I learned of it, and I suppose I see myself in some small way as a priestess or confessor. I am there to listen and to and ease one's problems. However, there are those who don't realize they are indeed reaching out or are not ready to let go and I can't force it, nor can I afford to help everyone who calls. In the end, I do indeed charge for my time, and only have so much of it.
Now, if someone tells me they are new and a little unsure, I'm happy to work with them. But there are another group of non-serious callers who seem to just be hobbyists of calling. There is no nervousness in their voice, it's steady & practiced and could be mistaken for a serious client until the references never show. These are men who do not know what healing they seek. And until they do, me nor my sisters can help them.
As far as the dinner dates go, I don't know why others don't offer them. Perhaps they value their time differently, or maybe they like to dine alone. I couldn't say.