With the interest about my recent virgin experience, I wanted to write a little more about it. We treat male virgins so much differently than female virgins--for one group, it's a hurdle to jump over and for the other, this lack of experience is often treated as a gift.
Skeptically, I want to say guys like virgin or innocent girls because they have nothing to live up to. The women won't know what they are missing. But I don't think sex is supposed to be about impressing anyone with dazzling tricks of pleasure (though that can be fun!) Sex is a primal paring of two people, and I think our bodies mostly go into auto pilot mode.
My friend referred me to this client, we'll call him C. He was my age, one of my younger clients. He's a guy that likes to know things, feels capable in an array of academic fields, but was lacking in experience with relationships and intimacy. I didn't want to pry into all his reasons, preferring to accept things as they come and for what they are than all the motives behind it. But I could pick up things. I think mostly, he just felt it was time to give it a try, but didn't want to embarrass himself in front of a lady he'd been courting. He didn't want such a large unknown looping ahead. Also, the fear of being judged for his lack of skill or experience.
Spending extended time with him before and after our session helped put his mind at east, I feel. It helped to build rapport and dispel his fears. I let him explore my body with innocent curiosity and eagerness--these two are the beginnings of skilled touches, and a natural gentleness came though. I think it was a gift for both of us--in that he was able to dispel his fears and gain confidence for future encounters, and I was able to gain a better sense of where I came from, and a joy in guiding innocence towards skill.
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