Sunday, May 16, 2010

Sacred Harlotry: the personal

The King is a friend of mine, one of my first in SF that's still around. When I came out to him, the conversation went something like this:

"I'm a whore, you know."
"No, you aren't a whore. You're just a good girl having a fun time."
"Yeah, and I get paid for it."

He's still in a bit of denial. It's kind of sweet, but a little condescending. I can't say I blame him. I've played the good girl way too long all my life, and I play it very well. Partly because what I do, even when I'm being "naughty" or "dirty", feels good and right. I love my whoring (would like to do some more of it, gentlemen!) but I do feel a twinge of guilt that I don't feel bad, and society wants me to. I'm learning to embrace this inner naughty girl, and enjoying all my explorations!

I'm beginning to understand the whoring part. I want to learn more about the sacred part of it.
And just what is sacred whoring, Electra? I have only an inkling of what is was in the past, but more important-what is it now and what will it be for me?

You know, when I think about it, part of it is passing on the feeling of love to anyone who feels in need of it. When I was younger I was fat, ignored and felt unloved. In a way my service is in gratitude for whatever forces made it possible for it to change, and acknowledging that everyone needs love sometimes.

I also remember, not so long ago, asking Her to change, for the power to make those changes possible. I promised her anything that was possible of me, that I would serve as her Priestess and Warrior. In that way, no matter how profane the activities, it is still sacred.

But right now, I really am learning and still an acolyte learning the path. What I need is study and more fucking.

No comments:

Post a Comment