At the start of the new year, I dyed my hair red. I've gone almost two months now and already the dreaded roots are showing. I've never noticed now dark my hair is, or appreciated just how fast my hair grows.
Does sucking cock for a dye job make me a whore?
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Sex Workers & Cheating
On one of my online discussion groups for poly people, they have been talking about infidelity in the poly community. If there is to be some openness, how much, and are you responsible for knowing what your partner does? What makes one a "cheater?"
To be honest, my opinions on conventional marriage are...less than conventional. I didn't care to comment on what I thought cheating was...until someone posted this question:
What about sex workers? If a guy sees an escort behind his wife's back, does that make the escort a cheater?
As you can imagine, I had something to say about this. My response follows (edited slightly for my blog.)
How is it that a sex worker is supposed to know if their client is cheating or not?
In my experience, the client wants to keep some distance. Many will give a fake name. I rarely need to know their full real name, the details of where they work, or their relationship status. Some are married and keep their rings on. Some tell me about their wives. Some will hide their ring in their car and I never know if they are married or not
In my opinion, they are paying for an experience that's outside their normal life. They pay for discretion. They pay for a little relief from whatever stress they have. Sometimes, they pay me to listen. They pay me to take them as they are, not to pry or judge them.
I view the provider/client relationship similarly to a therapist/client or even priest/confessor relationship. I'm not necessarily paid to, but I am empathetic to their situations. Some of them have broken relationships they have tried to fix, and visiting a pro is their best solution. Better to get the sexual relief in that way, then to start courting other women and forge a new relationship where they might get emotionally involved, causing even more trouble (albeit, their own fault!)
It's not a perfect system, but we do not live in a perfect world.
To be honest, my opinions on conventional marriage are...less than conventional. I didn't care to comment on what I thought cheating was...until someone posted this question:
What about sex workers? If a guy sees an escort behind his wife's back, does that make the escort a cheater?
As you can imagine, I had something to say about this. My response follows (edited slightly for my blog.)
How is it that a sex worker is supposed to know if their client is cheating or not?
In my experience, the client wants to keep some distance. Many will give a fake name. I rarely need to know their full real name, the details of where they work, or their relationship status. Some are married and keep their rings on. Some tell me about their wives. Some will hide their ring in their car and I never know if they are married or not
In my opinion, they are paying for an experience that's outside their normal life. They pay for discretion. They pay for a little relief from whatever stress they have. Sometimes, they pay me to listen. They pay me to take them as they are, not to pry or judge them.
I view the provider/client relationship similarly to a therapist/client or even priest/confessor relationship. I'm not necessarily paid to, but I am empathetic to their situations. Some of them have broken relationships they have tried to fix, and visiting a pro is their best solution. Better to get the sexual relief in that way, then to start courting other women and forge a new relationship where they might get emotionally involved, causing even more trouble (albeit, their own fault!)
It's not a perfect system, but we do not live in a perfect world.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Fallng in Love
I'm in love with this new woman. She's a Goddess, quite literally.
Babalon is not the chaste virgin huntress or heavily skirted mothering goddess, nor the sexless earth goddess that mainstream Paganism seems to cling to (no offense of course. I love earth goddesses too!) I can't blame them--they want acceptance in a vaguely Christian society and so had to become a coven of Glinda in a pink tutu.
This week I've been reading The Red Goddess. It's a devotional book of the sex goddess, Babalon. She's a Goddess of Whores, the modern holy harlot as envisioned by Alister Crowley. Crowley has a bad-boy reputation and is kinda misogynistic at times, but he's on to something with Babalon.
I've been working with her since discovering her, just over a month ago. The more I work with her, the more I've been able to invoke her presence mentally. And to be honest, I think it's working. The last few sessions I've had were extra steamy and my energy wouldn't stop until I was back home and grounded.
Let the sex(y) magick begin!
Babalon is not the chaste virgin huntress or heavily skirted mothering goddess, nor the sexless earth goddess that mainstream Paganism seems to cling to (no offense of course. I love earth goddesses too!) I can't blame them--they want acceptance in a vaguely Christian society and so had to become a coven of Glinda in a pink tutu.
This week I've been reading The Red Goddess. It's a devotional book of the sex goddess, Babalon. She's a Goddess of Whores, the modern holy harlot as envisioned by Alister Crowley. Crowley has a bad-boy reputation and is kinda misogynistic at times, but he's on to something with Babalon.
I've been working with her since discovering her, just over a month ago. The more I work with her, the more I've been able to invoke her presence mentally. And to be honest, I think it's working. The last few sessions I've had were extra steamy and my energy wouldn't stop until I was back home and grounded.
Let the sex(y) magick begin!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Awesome Sex Toy Siting
A friend of mine linked this to me. I'm not a big toy collector, as I tend to find so much to enjoy in my partners--they become my toys! But I have seen a few of these vibrators that hook up to your ipod and will vibrate with a musical beat. (I just had to add it to my wishlist!)
This one is a mini bullet vibe that will pick up the ambient sounds in a room and vibrate. It will take those groovy dancing beats and send them all the way up into your core! Wow, now there's a reason to dance. Next time you are in a club, you can imagine the lovely ladies wearing one of these. They must be driving themselves wild!
Keep feelin' them good vibrations....
Also, in blog news, I put up a donate button for those who feel generous. The more attention this blog receives, the more reasons I have to keep writing. I am also looking into some sort of subscription option that would give subscribers access to special photo spreads each month or perhaps some personalized writings. Any suggestions?
Keep feelin' them good vibrations....
Also, in blog news, I put up a donate button for those who feel generous. The more attention this blog receives, the more reasons I have to keep writing. I am also looking into some sort of subscription option that would give subscribers access to special photo spreads each month or perhaps some personalized writings. Any suggestions?
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Unexpected Sabbatical
I'm sure my life isn't any more chaotic than the average person, but sometimes I wonder. A couple of weeks ago, a few days down with the flu turned into an unexpected sabbatical from writing, working or doing anything productive.
Well, I did do a lot of reading, personal journaling and self-exploration. From the outside, all this inside/mental work didn't look like much, but I am realizing now (after my birthday) that it was quite necessary.
I finished up Starhawk's Truth or Dare, skipping over several parts about community & group working simply because it didn't really apply to me right now. It's one of those books I know I will read several times, it's practically a textbook. I also got my hands on an astrology text, Planets in Transit, and have had a good time looking up my transits for the day, studying the interactions of the planets.
My brain craves fiction now, and I've started Henry Miller's Under the Roofs of Paris. If you haven't read it, let me tell you, this is a bawdy book. I thought I had a dirty mind? No, but I'm looking forward to reading more fiction and studying the minds of dirty old men like Miller.
Perhaps...I hope, I pray, if I fill my mind with more stories, they will recombine in new ways and spill forth from head to hand to pen. I do know I am in a better state of mind & being.
Well, I did do a lot of reading, personal journaling and self-exploration. From the outside, all this inside/mental work didn't look like much, but I am realizing now (after my birthday) that it was quite necessary.
I finished up Starhawk's Truth or Dare, skipping over several parts about community & group working simply because it didn't really apply to me right now. It's one of those books I know I will read several times, it's practically a textbook. I also got my hands on an astrology text, Planets in Transit, and have had a good time looking up my transits for the day, studying the interactions of the planets.
My brain craves fiction now, and I've started Henry Miller's Under the Roofs of Paris. If you haven't read it, let me tell you, this is a bawdy book. I thought I had a dirty mind? No, but I'm looking forward to reading more fiction and studying the minds of dirty old men like Miller.
Perhaps...I hope, I pray, if I fill my mind with more stories, they will recombine in new ways and spill forth from head to hand to pen. I do know I am in a better state of mind & being.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Sacred Whore vs Sacred Intimate
I have been reading up on the subject lately. I'm observing a tendency of political correctness, or perhaps just an emphasis on the healing, spiritual and academic side of it. In more "serious work" about the topic of sacred harlotry (aka-not my blog), they call it sacred intimacy, erotic shamanism (my favorite of the group), erotic bodywork...they skirt around that sex may go on and money is exchanged. The healing, the touch is the important part.
But there's something I relish in the term sacred whore! Precisely because our culture (and many people) would say those two things don't go together. It's the reason why I prefer the term witch instead of pagan. They embrace the bad girl and embrace the healing of shadow work.
From a legal viewpoint, also, I see why they choose these phrases. I see why they choose to bring light into a shadowy world. I have always sought balance, and want to acknowledge the shadows while bringing in the light.
But there's something I relish in the term sacred whore! Precisely because our culture (and many people) would say those two things don't go together. It's the reason why I prefer the term witch instead of pagan. They embrace the bad girl and embrace the healing of shadow work.
From a legal viewpoint, also, I see why they choose these phrases. I see why they choose to bring light into a shadowy world. I have always sought balance, and want to acknowledge the shadows while bringing in the light.
Monday, January 10, 2011
A New Year Comes Blazing Through
New Year Eve was spent with a green, muddy junk worked into my hair. No parties for me this year, just a private celebration with champagne. After six hours, I wash it out. The henna color takes two days to settle, so I lay low, reading and researching.
And since then, it's just been one thing after another. In a good way, but when I looked, I saw I haven't written in my blog in too many days. This girl needs a spanking for that, but then I *still* wouldn't be writing!
The blog and my experience with escorting has very nearly reached the one year mark and I'm diving in just as deep for my second year. I want to take what I've witnessed and learned and build my business even better. This means I simply must write more, even if just to jot down some interesting bit that happened during the week. I've also considered adding a twitter account, but I don't know if that will help me keep the blog more or less active.
My birthday is on the 29th, and my goal is to make these improvements by then. I may put together a small birthday wishlist on Amazon, but I think I will keep it low key. This birthday will be about self-improvement.
There's more to write about, but you readers deserve more posts, really. So, I'll keep writing, and post a little every other day (or there will be spankings!)
And since then, it's just been one thing after another. In a good way, but when I looked, I saw I haven't written in my blog in too many days. This girl needs a spanking for that, but then I *still* wouldn't be writing!
The blog and my experience with escorting has very nearly reached the one year mark and I'm diving in just as deep for my second year. I want to take what I've witnessed and learned and build my business even better. This means I simply must write more, even if just to jot down some interesting bit that happened during the week. I've also considered adding a twitter account, but I don't know if that will help me keep the blog more or less active.
My birthday is on the 29th, and my goal is to make these improvements by then. I may put together a small birthday wishlist on Amazon, but I think I will keep it low key. This birthday will be about self-improvement.
There's more to write about, but you readers deserve more posts, really. So, I'll keep writing, and post a little every other day (or there will be spankings!)
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