I did my research before starting this venture, and read a lot about creating personas, reminded me of theater or roleplaying. I enjoy my share of roleplay (Professor/student is my favorite!) but when it has come to creating a "provider persona," I hesitate because I don't to sound hollow or fake. And when it comes to this blog, I think this has prevented me from writing as much as I set out to.
Much of this is the struggle to be genuine, but not reveal too much. I want to be real, but not go into nitty-gritty details that would shatter the fantasy--and I want to acknowledge the role fantasy plays in this job, without becoming fake. The trick is to find that balance, to pull fantasy into reality, blur the lines in a pleasing way.
Of course, many parts of my life are simply off-topic to this blog (like my love of cooking!) and would just clutter up the site. I go off tangent enough and I want to stick to the juicy stuff. I acknowledge that this is a character-changing journey I am on, and an opportunity to catalyze change into a person of my own chosing rather than the circumstances around me.
But back to personas....
In many ways, the word "persona" reads "mask," something about the word says false, or at least, glossed-over. But a person may wear many masks--we have our public face, our private self, and every role we play, every label we take on. And we are all of them combined. We our actions and emotions, our bodies and minds and the words we speak. Now, I may be getting too philosophical for this blog... but what can I do?
I suppose I shouldn't worry too much about being fake--I am an excellent storyteller, but I can't live a lie.
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