Opening for Business

I am so glad that 2009 is over and done with. It has been nearly a year since I was let go at the bindery. My boss had always been a curmudgeon, but after a couple of months of walking on eggshells, trying to do my job as quickly, quietly, and invisibly as possible, I was almost relieved when it happened. I say almost, because my main feelings were worry (how do I find another job in a recession?) and misplaced guilt (What could I have done better?). For many months, I wouldn’t even look for jobs in my trade, so uncertain I was in my abilities.

Things have gotten better. I met someone who renewed my confidence, put the magic back in my life (literally, but that’s another post!) and I am more determined than ever to make 2010 the best ever. With this year, I am trying something different. I love working with my hands, but art-related jobs (non-digital art, at least) are hard to come by, especially in this economy. In previous months, I have applied to retail, office/admin, clerical, cleaning jobs…but guess what? They all want previous experience! Trying to sell my skills, to convince these people that as an artist and bookbinder I had experienced many work situations and was capable of taking on the job…well, it felt a lot like prostitution.

Which made me think…why the fuck should I sell myself for under $15/hr—and be happy about it?

I’ve been interested in sex work for a long time, even made a trade a time or two, although it didn’t really feel like I was whoring myself out. But for months, I’ve thought, why not? I have no moral or ethical qualm about it. I like sex, enjoy getting to know people, and I even happen to prefer older gentlemen.

I remember going on an interview that went too well, and after researching the company a little, find that it’s a door-to-door sales position. I remember a moment of honest consideration in taking that job and how worthless it made me feel to think that this was what my college degree amounted to.

So I paint a mental picture for myself. How would it feel to run hands down a naked form, grasp his cock and work that lasting sigh of release from him? To have him touch, grope and know my body like a lover? And it does not feel low to me, at all. To leave him with a smile and relaxation, and paid well for my efforts….would feel infinitely better than peddling office supplies door to door.

So the decision was made, and here I am!