My First Time

It was one summer during college. To be honest, I don't remember which summer; during school years and college years, the summers were always a strange in between time that held little order or purpose. This particular summer, after chatting with a fellow on the internet, decided to meet. Hardly professional, but then, I didn't see it as prostitution at all.

We met at a hotel so he could take pictures. We fooled around a little after that and received the digital camera for the afternoon. He never did ask for copies of the pictures. I think he just had fun taking them. I had fun posing, and fun fooling around after that. And I enjoyed the camera for years after that. It was really only after the fact that I realized our little trade may have been ooo...sinful.

It never felt wrong. In fact, it felt pretty right. Models get paid...what....thousands to post and act sexy? Was there the expectation of sex? I don't know, because I never denied him. I wanted it just as much as he did. So it's hard to say really if he thought he was giving his camera for sex or not. Would he have argued or whined if I'd stuck to only posing?

In the end, it didn't matter to me what his intentions were. I knew my own intentions. And there was nothing more satisfying than seeing the relaxed smile on his face after blowing his load--even the camera. Had I been able to take a picture, I might have. But like him, I didn't really need a copy. The memory, the experience was more than enough.

Rules and Limits for Fetish

Are you are interested in exploring the edges of sexuality? I am quite adventurous, non-judgmental and all too happy to serve you in this manner. Please take a moment to learn about my favorite kinky activities (and those I cannot perform) to see if we are a good match.

I enjoy many aspects from the submissive side of BDSM both personally and professionally, and pride myself in my eager service to novice and veteran alike. Some of my favorites include:

Humiliation: face slapping, hairpulling, verbal abuse, objectification
Sadomasochism: wartenburg wheels, floggers and wax—oh my!
Sensory play
Slave & Slut training
Fetish exploration: Feet/heels, cross-dressing, toys, food, male penetration
Menstrual play (this one requires a bit of advanced planning!)
Ass play , spanking and enema play
Tickle torture
Domestic discipline
Roleplaying: sexy librarian, naughty student, temple harlot, captive maiden, hostage and more


My Safeword and Limits

While I'd hate to interrupt a scene, I do occasionally need a breather. For such times, I employ the safeword RED to signal a pause. This safeword is for both of us to use and must be honored by both parties. Don't worry, in most cases it just means a readjustment or pause before we can continue.


For the health and safety of myself and all my dear friends, I must limit myself and abstain from certain activities. I do love to try new things, and so my list is short, but non-negotiable.

I do not offer uncovered services. Toys, for ease of cleaning, must also be covered.
I am not blindfolded.
I do not engage in golden showers, scat, blood or breath play.
I am not struck near any internal organs, or my eyes.
I am not kicked, trampled or choked.
I do not play with violet wands. (I much prefer wands made of flesh!)

Also, as a general consideration, I ask that you write to me in the manner befitting a gentleman and not go into graphic detail in your e-mails. There will be time enough for brazen talk in private.

A Whore's Place-in Myth, pt1

One of my favorite myths is the epic of Gilgamesh, for within it is a glimpse of ancient sexuality, and gives a most ennobling roles to my vocational ancestor--the temple harlot. The story is set in Ancient Mesopotamia (modern day Iraq), and follows King Gilgamesh of Uruk and his friend, Enkidu.

In the story, King Gilgamesh is told a wild man living outside the walls of the city. He is hairy, unclothed, unwashed. So uncivilized is he that the animals are not bothered by his presence; he is able to graze with the antelope and hunt with the lions. But Gilgamesh knows what to do--he pulls aside a temple prostitute, Shamhat, and tells her his plan. She is a priestess of Ishtar, an earthly embodiment of the Goddess' love of man and creative passions. When the wild man sees her, he is entranced--he feels the recognition of his own species and is easily seduced by the priestess' gentle touch and soothing voice.

After their lovemaking, the man is forever changed--the animals are spooked by his scent. The hair on his body begins to thin so Shamhat clothes him and keeps him warm, showering him with affection. It is she who first civilizes him and brings him to the city to live with other humans.

...the wild man, Enkidu, goes on to become the King's most trusted friend. The harlot's brief but vital role is glossed over in many versions, and in some translations she is called a temple singer to make it more "family friendly", but it does reveal the sacred roots of the world's oldest profession. It is woman--not man--responsible for soothing humans' wild tendencies. It is she who pulls out the animal in him, gives him a safe place to express it, and allows his higher consciousness to take full reign.

It also reminds me of another myth.....but I will save that for another post.

Opening for Business

I am so glad that 2009 is over and done with. It has been nearly a year since I was let go at the bindery. My boss had always been a curmudgeon, but after a couple of months of walking on eggshells, trying to do my job as quickly, quietly, and invisibly as possible, I was almost relieved when it happened. I say almost, because my main feelings were worry (how do I find another job in a recession?) and misplaced guilt (What could I have done better?). For many months, I wouldn’t even look for jobs in my trade, so uncertain I was in my abilities.

Things have gotten better. I met someone who renewed my confidence, put the magic back in my life (literally, but that’s another post!) and I am more determined than ever to make 2010 the best ever. With this year, I am trying something different. I love working with my hands, but art-related jobs (non-digital art, at least) are hard to come by, especially in this economy. In previous months, I have applied to retail, office/admin, clerical, cleaning jobs…but guess what? They all want previous experience! Trying to sell my skills, to convince these people that as an artist and bookbinder I had experienced many work situations and was capable of taking on the job…well, it felt a lot like prostitution.

Which made me think…why the fuck should I sell myself for under $15/hr—and be happy about it?

I’ve been interested in sex work for a long time, even made a trade a time or two, although it didn’t really feel like I was whoring myself out. But for months, I’ve thought, why not? I have no moral or ethical qualm about it. I like sex, enjoy getting to know people, and I even happen to prefer older gentlemen.

I remember going on an interview that went too well, and after researching the company a little, find that it’s a door-to-door sales position. I remember a moment of honest consideration in taking that job and how worthless it made me feel to think that this was what my college degree amounted to.

So I paint a mental picture for myself. How would it feel to run hands down a naked form, grasp his cock and work that lasting sigh of release from him? To have him touch, grope and know my body like a lover? And it does not feel low to me, at all. To leave him with a smile and relaxation, and paid well for my efforts….would feel infinitely better than peddling office supplies door to door.

So the decision was made, and here I am!