Sacred Harlotry: A question of authority

sacred
sacred sex
sacred sex work
sacred sex worker

This has been a topic on my mind since before I ventured into "the biz." I continually come back to the ancient knowing that these women were not mere escorts, but priestesses of the Goddess. Men went to them for many reasons. Sex and sensuality were valued in this society, and even the king laid with the head priestess in annual ritual.

I long to take back this sacred heritage, but I am not sure where to start. There are questions I must be able to answer to myself (because others are bound to ask). I mentioned previously, the question of authority. There is also the question of mixing business with religion.

The question of authority is one I've dealt with for a long time. As a Witch, I do not belong to an organized religion (Okay, I'm technically ordained by the Universal Life Church, but that's a long story....) nor do I have an official body of works I could study to claim legitimacy. Believe me, if there were a sex temple where I could go and train in exchange for my service, I would be on my way right now. (Any suggestions?) A witch seeks only to claim personal spiritual authority, to know the land and nature around her. I do not seek good or ill, only balance, and to understand that balance. But the title priestess is something different. It implies study, perhaps a series of initiations, a degree of control.

After only four months of working, there's no question that I still have much to learn. I don't want to discount what knowledge I do have, however. I am more like an acolyte, or an initiate in training for a further degree. In my absolute favorite series, Kushiel's Legacy, they do a year of service before taking the title. Their "court of night-blooming flowers," are also trained in their sensual arts, and must give service to earn their marque- a tattoo that decorates the spine from nape to base. In any case, there is study and service to be done!

Now, as a witch and a harlot...there are still some mystical and sensual arts I can claim authority to. I read the stars and study the tarot and runes. I am starting to see the patterns and currents of the universe. One can't really predict the future, for even your knowledge of it can change it, and many other events can impact the future in ways we don't know. What astrology and tarot can do, however, is to gain an understanding of what is influencing us. In understanding ourselves, we can be more in control and less a product of our environments.

I can also turn you into a newt, but It will get better. ;)

April Showers

I do wish I had more positive things to write about, instead of complaining. Last week I learned a few important but expensive lessons. If it makes me more cautious in my screenings, so be it.

My mother is sick. I really debated writing about it at all. I don't need to fish for sympathy, nor divulge personal details. But I do welcome positive thoughts. Friday she has a pretty serious surgery and once that is successfully open, most of my worries will be dismissed. Most times, any kind of work is a welcomed distraction from the multiple stresses life brings, but I won't be committing to anything Friday until I hear that all is well.

It didn't really help that it's that especially emotional time of the month for me. Everything gets blown up a little more, and multiple stresses and worries just compound. It's actually quite tiring.

Do you know what else is tiring? Excuses. I've given myself plenty when it comes to delaying website and blog updates. Procrastination has always been a habit of mine, along with my various excuses for that. But I see how it could be taken as disinterest or doubt, and that's certainly not the image I want to project.

There has been a lot of questioning going on. I've been trying to pin down what it is most that my clients like, the most effective parts and phrases of my ad and site. A mental dissection. Also, what phrases or images should I invoke to attract the safe and respectful clients I wish to see, and not attract those who are only interested in doing harm?

Also, I have this sacred sex thing. The sacred harlot. This subject deserves its own post. I am mostly concerned with the subject of authority--on whose authority do I dare claim status as a priestess of harlots? Well, I need to save that discussion for another post.

How I Paid $80 to Watch South Park

In this biz, like any business, not every choice is a sure one.

My week started off well, with a sweet guy whose plane was late, but still made some time to see me. We didn't get the sushi like we had planned, but it was still a fun evening.  I had already headed downtown to hang out with some friends, but I was able to change my plans easily enough.  I do think earlier in this venture, I would have hesitated to rush out to meet someone. I prefer to plan ahead, but I felt in control and confident.

There was also the possibility of my first repeat client and that was exciting too. Enough men in my personal life & business have told me they want to see me again enough times that I tend to take it with a grain of salt.  I would certainly see any of my clients again and I've been curious to see who will be my first repeat. Business-wise, this is easier and safer, but truthfully part of what I like about this job is the meeting of new people, having new experiences.  And that's probably what many hobbyists like about it too: the variety. But now I'm off-topic.

Wednesday's original appointment fell through; he was stuck late at work.  Try as I might, I couldn't get anyone else to fill the space. Maybe everyone is busy doing their taxes last minute?  A little disappointed, a little frustrated at not working last night. But it wasn't a waste.

Russian Hill is a nice area, a few lingerie stores in the area.  I ended up getting a corset. Not too fancy, but I like how it hugs my frame and emphasizes my curves--and it has garter straps for stockings.

And of course, South Park's 200th episode.  Back at my apartment, we don't have cable so I miss my comedy central at times.  I really am a sucker for South Park! Hilarious and crude in their social commentary, and not afraid to poke fun at anything, including themselves.  So at least I got to watch that!

A Cooking Experiment

In a conversation with a client over drinks, we discussed our favorite cuisine.  Sushi is still currently my favorite here, but I also like Indian Food.  Not the best choice for a date unless you like spicy breath later, we decided. But it planted a seed, began as a craving and it slowly grew over a few days.  I decided not only was I going to have some Indian food, but I was going to make it myself.

I really love to cook, and it's even more fun trying new recipes. Until now, I had only attempted indian food through jars of sauce and pre-made food.  The complex mix of spices and flavors in their sauces seem to require a lot of cooking and simmering.

I decided on a mushroom curry.  I had found a recipe online that brought the steps down simply enough.  Cook the spice mixture in oil. Add onions, cook until golden brown. Add ginger and garlic paste and cook more.  Add tomatoes and cook until the oil separates from the rest. Add mushrooms and simmer until done.  Unfortunately, the recipe didn't get much more detailed than that. I truly had no idea how long this was gonna take, or just how long to take each step! I dive in head-first anyway.  After all, I had just bought these wonderful spices from a fragrant spice shop, had fresh ingredients. Surely, it would all just come together.

Powdered spice cooking in oil. A hard thing if you've never done it, and I never had.  I didn't want to burn the spices, just toast them. I wasn't sure just what it would smell like either, when toasted so I took my best guess.  The onions too, probably could have browned a little bit more. And in retrospect, the tomato probably needed more time to cook down into a sauce.  The result was edible, but the textures all off, the flavors not developed enough.

That's probably why they never do indian food on Iron Chef.

I see also, that I could benefit from a healthy dose of patience in my life.  I've been so concerned with immediacy and fast results that I pushed myself too fast.  This business too, is a little like a curry.  Now that I've got all the ingredients together and I'm comfortably put together, it's time to let it simmer and brew for a while. Adding a bit here and there to improve on the main ingredients requires careful tending, but mostly I need to let it brew.



I've been working on the pages for my provider section at the top, and you should expect to see some developments there soon. More details, refreshed information and hopefully more attention-getting.

Writers Block

It's been hard to write lately! I have bits and pieces of post, but hardly complete thoughts. Some of it, I think, I am concerned with the feel and layout of this blog. I want it to be polished, refined and professional. And then I catch myself-- if it's too polished, will it seem unauthentic? Perhaps part of the charm of this blog is the rawness, my choice to speak  these inner thoughts that others would shy away from. There is a very private side of me who continually hides and makes me question just what is sharable....how much to reveal, how much to bare, before it is too much and it becomes painful?

But there's also the question of ad copy, and my provider section for this site.  It took me a while to be happy with my re-write and I'm still sitting on my pro-sub ad, staring blanking at words. Perhaps I need to read books for a while, look at words in a fresh light. Digital words start to blend together for me; reading too much online gives me ADD.   I haven't done too many sub session, so there must be something up with my ad. It's simply not working.  I need to focus on what I enjoy about submission, spend some time with it before I can write this.

I haven't been able to get into that subspace lately, sadly.  One client did pin me down, held my wrists above my head...that was good.  It's little things like that, in the moment, that gets me.

More updates. I need someone who will whip me into updating this blog more....any takers?